South Beach Party Girl Diet

Dieting South Beach Style

I will start this blog like I do any other . Disclaimer of sorts . Apologizing first for my grammatical errors. I might have writing talent but my learning disorder and memory issues has only been a challenge when it comes to "To" , the "too's", there's and the theirs! At least I got the Your and the you're down pat. That only took twenty years to master.




I have come to contact with so many woman and men in South Beach. Most woman beyond genetically blessed. Even with age . So often you see photo's of "friends" way it there late 30's and you think how is it possible they look the way they do? Photo after photo of typical Sobe pool parties where you see woman who look like food was a distant past thought! Very distant!

The Inside scoop..

South Beach and little dirty secrets when it comes to achieving a body where ribs protrude, stomachs lay flat making it all possible to wear little but nothing!

The things I have heard when it comes to weight loss which is part of any conversation once you get past the simple gesture of greeting someone hello. Perhaps it is I who brings this out. My curiosity insatiable in the quest for a better body. A war I have battled my entire adult life. Being blessed early in life with a perfect body that was ravished by the effects of a pregnancy at the age of 18. Suffering maternal diabetes my body ballooned to over 250 pounds far cry from the previous 114 pounds I weighed prior.At 5'10 it was quite the sight. To make matters worse I carried my pregnancy weight until my late 20's. Being told over and over by nutritionists and Doctors that my metabolism was beyond repair and it would be impossible for me to lose the weight. For some eating less and meticulously counting the 800 calories a day I consume would be classified as an eating disorder. For me it is just a cruel twist of fate.

Trick number one in South Beach:

Coke..

That oh so larger then life persona its worst after effect! It might take your appetite away but as it might seem makes you thirsty as hell and able to consume bottle after bottle of magnums ordered for those who allow you to sit and free load just because you have that emaciated South Beach look that has become "normal".

Of course you can find the traditional methods of laxatives . But truth be told if your all decked out in Dolce and Gabbana your latest sponsor treated you to who has time to spend shitting all day on the toilet? Besides as sexy as you can be in that D&g farting will kill that vibe as quickly as the one you accidentally let escape!

Lets not forget Ipicate (sp) .

Its previously was used for children who accidentally ate poison . One small doses and that lunch you felt guilty eating is gone sooner then your last love affair..

Recently Ipicate was banned in the United States but easily accessed and traded among those who seek it. Yes there are clicks of woman with eating disorder who share the wealth. I mean who wants to party alone after all?

I mean if all your friends are doing it then it must be ok? HMM makes you wonder who is the president of that club? One thing is for sure she is thin! that really matters. Besides the effects of Ipicate is loss of gag reflex and that can only be helpful in fining new "sponsors" for trips and shopping liaisons!

But the best diet trick I save for last. Coming from the most well maintained woman in her 40's who graces any sidewalk like it is a Paris runway! Tall , svelte and beautiful, with a sense of regal class unlike most. Talking as usual in her eloquent and graceful manner she speaks of times she has been required to lose weight as simple as one would talk about the weather or latest current economic crisis. "ALisa darling..nothing like a great stomach virus or is that should fail you..just place a pound of shrimp for a few days on your porch and let rot. Blend the concoction with plenty of lemon to disguise the taste and suffer for two days .. another little trick just make sure your toilet and your sink are close as it will be coming up and out from both ends. Nothing works better or gets you thinner quicker she states!

So next time you look at envy at how beautiful South Beach is reflect on how ugly the diet tricks are to maintain the look you so envy!